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The Rule of Three – Dog Interrupts “Intimacy”

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What is the “Rule of Three”?

Dear John, We have a 7 year old male dog. Whenever my wife and I hug and kiss (not to mention further intimacy) the dog barks non-stop. Any idea what’s causing this? – Peter Salt

Hi Peter,

Don’t you mean, “How do I stop this?”

This behaviour problem is sometimes referred to as ‘Canis Interuptus’ (Latin for “Unexpected Cold Shower”). It develops when an owner doesn’t correctly or consistently say, “No!” If you’re repeatedly not getting the results in the bedroom – I think it’s safe to say you’re doing it wrong.” (The saying “No!” part.), and I recommend the “Rule of Three”.

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I often hear, “He knows he’s done wrong. You can tell just by looking at him, why does he keep doing it?” Chastising or rewarding a dog once is usually not enough for a dog to understand your point. More likely it leaves the dog wondering if you’re having mood swings. Knowing an owner is upset and knowing why, are two separate things. Dogs aren’t mind readers. Sometimes they need you to help them connect the dots, so I encourage dog owners to repeat the lesson three times in quick succession aka the “Rule of Three”.

Before you can apply the “Rule of Three”, you need a dog’s attention. For example if my dog starts to hump a leg I use the leash to redirect the dog’s attention from leg to me (‘Canis Interuptus Table Reversus). The leash is not used to “correct” the dog. I just use it to get my dog to stop thinking, “Hump” and start thinking “John”. Maybe I didn’t word that in the best way but you know what I mean.

Once I have his attention he’s going to see in my body language and hear in my tone a dramatic contrast to my usual jovial self. He may not understand the words, “What are you doing to Grandma!!!”, but my tone and body language will be clear something is amiss. It quickly switches to reward mode the moment he even slightly reins things in so to speak.

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If in attempt to avoid disinheritance I then remove him from the room or if Grandma refuses to come down from the dining room table what might he take away from his experience? He might just think I was critiquing his technique or he might wonder if it’s a hierarchy thing and conclude he must have gone out of turn.

Provide clarity by using the “Rule of Three”. I follow the first message with two more right away. I let the dog go back to Grandma’s leg (if I must, I ask Grandma to move her leg enticingly.) I don’t wait until he’s buckled back on. The second I think he has loving on his mind – I use the leash to redirect his attention to me – apply tone and body language – and than do it a 3rd time.

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If it doesn’t work it just means I either didn’t have his attention or whatever I’m offering as a reward and/or consequence doesn’t compare to the allure of Grandma’s leg. I adjust accordingly, until when offered the leg a 3rd time the dog finally says, “What leg? I don’t see a leg.”

If you want a ‘happy ending’ to your bedroom problem you must get your dog to attempt to interrupt “further intimacy” – three times in a row – in reasonably rapid succession.

You may have to show your wife this column to get her to believe that the need for “3 times” is for the dog’s sake.

For some reason studies show that younger men have more success resolving this specific problem.

John Wade - Ask the Dog Guy By JOHN WADE, WWW.ASKTHEDOGGUY.COM

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